Keep them home if they "sniffle," they say
but these absences are totally excessive and putting your child at risk, they also say
Parents have found themselves in a bit of a conundrum since schools began coding absences as “excused” and “unexcused.” Back in the day, skipping school to go to the beach was called “cutting” or “bunking” and likely would have been tracked in an electronic record-keeping system as “unexcused.” A parent calling their child in sick because they were vomiting was considered “excused.” Those were simpler times.
Today, any absence (or tardy) that is not justified with a doctor’s note, is considered “unexcused” by the powers-that-be. This presents a problem for parents who, for reasons based in common sense and experience, don’t drag their children to the doctor every time they run a fever or throw-up or just don’t feel well. Doctors’ visits require parents to take time out of work, find arrangements for younger children they don’t want to drag alone, and a significant financial expense. As a mom of three teenagers, I know that most bouts of sickness do not require a trip to the doctor; instead, rest at home, over-the-counter medicine to treat symptoms and lots of liquids often do the trick. Well, except for the attendance Gods who mark all of these missed days as “unexcused.”
What do you mean you didn’t take him to the doctor (and risk actually catching something more serious) for a headache?
Despite the pleas coming at us from public health officials, school officials and our fellow moms and dads to PLEASE KEEP KIDS HOME IF THEY’RE SICK, schools are under tremendous pressure to reduce absenteeism and that means flagging students who are at risk of becoming “chronically absent,” which is defined as missing 10 percent or more of the school year. Five absences during a semester often means a letter is coming home to warn you that your child is missing too much school. It’s a formality but most parents hate getting them and once they do, they are more likely to err on the side of sending their kid to school.
Kid coughs a few times in the morning. Mom takes his temperature and it’s normal. She sends him to school because the official letter she just received explicitly stated that he had missed too much school. Two hours later the nurse is calling: “He has a fever. You shouldn’t have sent him to school sick!”
Some will scoff at parents who take the letter seriously and rant about “you’re the parent, it’s none of their business blah blah.” But many parents understandably take the letter seriously; they feel like they are being judged for putting their child’s success in school at risk. It’s natural to feel pressure to “do better” even when you are already doing the best you can because, umm, welcome to parenting.
The Attendance Nudge Tool is linked to an online portal that is updated daily with student attendance data. Principals log in and see a list of students who are at risk of becoming chronically absent, defined as missing 10 percent or more of the school year, or roughly 18 days. Users then have the option to generate either a backpack letter or a text message, both geared towards families. The messages underscore the importance of school attendance and compare the child’s attendance with his or her peers, not unlike the energy efficiency letters that many households receive.
The way I see it: Listen to your gut, do the best you can, and know that you’ll get it wrong sometimes. The letter the school sends serves almost no purpose if you are a) aware of your child’s absences and b) know the reasons for those absences. I still remember ten years ago when I was fairly confident that my youngest son just had a cold. When he didn’t improve after a couple days and I took him the doctor, it turned out he had a double ear infection, the flu and pneumonia.
My bad.
We will never bat 1,000 on this. Remember that nobody loves your kids the way you do. And nobody knows them the way you do.
My advice: Do the best you can, know you’ll get some stuff wrong and hug them a lot.
On a separate note, I am raising money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital this month by participating in their 40-mile dog walk challenge. The challenge is being run through Facebook so if you are on Facebook and would like to contribute, the link is here.
As always, thanks for reading.
Talk soon,
Erika
State funding follows the child in a seat in the am here in MA which is why I think it’s become tsp draconian